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Archive for October, 2005

my dear friend nicole got her car broken into tonight at j.crew. i feel so bad for her. she’s one of the most sincerely kind people i’ve ever known and this horrible thing happens to her. life is so unfair. it’s deceiving how familiarity equates to safety to many of us.

i submitted my tfa application today. eek. i’m nervous.

i switched the day shift for the night shift today so we could enjoy the homecoming festivities at asu. we didn’t go to the game but watched some of the parade and talked to dr brack and nilsen. they are both so wonderful. i’m lucky to have great professors. errol commented on the greatness, and i think it has a lot to do with the fact they’re english teachers. they’ve read a lot and know how to treat people. my interaction with professors will be what i miss the most.

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i just finished taking my greek art test, and i think it went ok. the hardest part was identifying the kinds of vases the ancient greeks used. if anyone wants to know the difference between an amphora and a kylix, i’m your girl.

tonight i’m going to finish my teach for america application. i’m very excited/nervous. i’m kind of putting all my eggs in one basket with this, and i hope it turns out. although, i know if it doesn’t, i’ll find something else to do and we’ll move a year sooner, but i really want to do it. everyone cross their fingers for me.

i had a good talk with mom last night. i miss her. watching gilmore girls with errol makes me miss her too. this morning errol make a really good observation, and i want to share it–

sometimes treating your kids differently is a good thing. for example, i think that mom and dad tried to treat all four of us the same while we were at college, but i think that was a bad move. i didn’t have the same college experience my other siblings did. while they might have appreciated the distance mom and dad gave them because lincoln is so close to minden, i would have enjoyed some more nurturing like calls, care packages, and visits. i’m trying to store all this stuff up in my head to use with our kids.

i handed in my paper yesterday. yay! i was the first one in the class, and dr. brack said, “well, i was only going to give one ‘a’ and i guess this is it.” that made me smile.

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i was the teacher again today, and it went well. i didn’t have as much fun as last time, but it was fine. the kids really liked looking their names up in the name books. some of the “macho” boys surprised me and wanted to share with the class the sentimental meanings of their names. for instance, fidel was very excited to tell everyone that his name meant “advocate for the poor.” i had told him earlier what the word advocate meant, and he wanted to make sure the class knew too. it was cute.

tonight i’m determined to finish my paper that was due last monday. i was really stressing about it being so late, but i found out yesterday that i am farther than everyone else. i’ll have to add another ten pages to this paper by december so in preparation, i started reading jane austen’s mansfield park yesterday. if i read 33 pages a night, i’ll have it done in three weeks. one day down. 20 to go.

ps–29 days till the big day.

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when i got off work tonight, i really wanted to run to four peaks for some delicious hummus and pita bread. i called ian, but he didn’t answer. then i thought, “who else can i call?” thinking, thinking, thinking… i used to feel like i had too many friends and felt stressed to maintain the relationships. now it seems that most of those friendships have faded into acquaintances. it seems i have become a friendless loser with a lot of j.crew clothes.

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it rained a lot today. of course it had to come down the hardest when i was walking across campus. ironically, i was wearing the same skirt i was wearing when we were stuck in pouring rain in evanston a few months back. the pool closed early tonight due to lightning and thunder so that was nice. it started raining again on the way home, but the bus driver was nice enough to drop us off right in front of the apartment. first props to valley metro in awhile.

my good friend from sophomore year is coming to the wedding–all the way from wisconsin. some people love me after all.

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i don’t think that i’ll ever get over my middle child syndrome. lately, i’ve been feeling a bit neglected, and i keep wondering, “would people treat abby the same way?” i know it’s stupid to even ask the question–we’re pretty much grown up now and there are so few things to complain about in my life. i have my health, and i’m happy, excluding long shifts at j.crew or overwhelming readings, but still, why does the question still pop in my head once in awhile? are the details of my siblings’ lives forgotten as easily as mine? i realized this week that my parents came to see me at school only once during my years at asu. of course, i wish i would have seen them more, and i don’t hold it against them for not coming, but would they have visited kate, abby, or chris more if they went away for school? i know, it’s a dumb question, but i can’t help but ask it. a lot of our relatives travelled to nebraska for kate’s wedding last summer. why aren’t people coming to mine? sometimes it doesn’t feel good at all being the different one.

i think right now i’m experiencing one of those not so happy moments.

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yesterday was a big day in anne world. i applied for graduation and received my diploma holders and my honors cords right there. it was pretty exciting.

i got to have supper with ian tonight. it was nice. i’m trying to remember if i appreciated how often i got to see him when we were ra’s together… probably not. everyone, appreciate your friends when you get to see them as much as you can! also, do yourself a favor and just nix a wedding shower.

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